Bulan Mei baru 5hari tapi sudah dikurasnya habis peluh dan air mata. Kehilangan pekerjaan, tekad dan niatan yang dipatahkan, hati yang dihancurkan, batin yang diuji dan mental yang digoyah dengan tiada ampun, hingga yang membuatku hampir tumbang ialah harus kehilangan orang terkasih.
Apakah bulan Mei akan selalu sebercanda ini ditiap pertemuannya? Entah sejak kapan aku sudah membenci bulan Mei, nampaknya kami memang tidak cocok karena, selalu berakhir pilu disetiap pertemuan.
05/05/21
Half a month later after the exile, the feeling is still the same, a little bit awkward, I don't even dare to look you in the eye. Your name is always on my conversations even for topics that are not really related to you, a stupid thing, of course. There are too many things I want to say or hear about you. But what if I don't know how you feel right now, am I embarrassing or even disgusting?
A little hesitant every time I hear all the stories about how you respond to a guy trying to get close to you, luckily I have a buddy's story which is the same place for you to tell the same story, at least I expect a little of every story he tells about how you too have the same slight feelings towards me, whether that's true or not, of course, I hope so. At least for now I can be a little relieved.
25/04/21
For a month we share our lives in exile (I call it), an accidental meeting. Share a laugh and a gloomy day, that's all that makes me start to feel this vibration in my heart. After denying and denying this feeling, it is getting much bigger, and I can't hold on not to tell it to the world. Until your friend (I guess) tells me about you, that is, I start to have the same feeling as what I feel.
13/04/21
A little confession about my feelings lately, after all the conversation, I started to feel something, a little awkward at the first time, like something was tickling my heart but I was enjoying it.
I love the way you laugh at all my stupid jokes, your face when you feel awkward in society, your face when you don't understand what we are talking about.
You are too close to look like him who has lived long deep in my heart. I don't know how to react, on this side I feel good getting that feeling again but on the other hand, I feel really stupid letting that feeling come back.
17/03/21
